Time passes so fast, it makes me feel uptight, i cant even gather my emotions.
Damn.

So SIP is coming to an end, wow. 5 months *zoom* gone. its been fun... now its back to school.

Recently many things that occur around me, cause me to think or miss something:

I miss my Dad, i watch football and sometimes i turn around expecting to comment on the match but theres no one there. Just me and the tv.

I'm waiting at the bus stop for 317, a 101 goes by... i think of the times i used to take the long ride to hougang just to have breakfast. I miss those days, where life wasn't so complicated and all i cared about was fun.

I walk down the hill leadin to my house, i think of the night's we'd used to walk down sharing a ciggarette and looking forward to prata and teh tarik. Those nights dont happen too often now.

I miss the nights where drinking involved nothing but simple games. Banter among buddies, where i'd watch you idiots get drunk and puke all over. Just a corner a bottle and us, that was the way it used to be. Now it feels different with some of you bringing your babes and stuff. We dont really get much of chance to talk now do we...

I look out into the sky right now. I miss my nights in vietnam, a pack and coffee/milo and my laptop beside me. Sitting at the balcony typing my way through the night, breath taking view all night long of the river and the moon.

I miss the poly people, the nonsense and bullshit that goes on in school never fails to make my day. Well at least we'll be going back soon enough!

I think back alot on life nowadays, and i just think how am i different from before?
Many people will tell you that there are a few words that can be closely associated with me:
Bastard, Jerk, Asshole etc. whatever expletive you can fit in there.
people tend not to be able to take me serious, like im always a joker and a clown 24/7.

Truth is im the same as everyone else. I just express myself differently. Hate it so much when people look at me and say: can never link randall and serious together.
My god you dont know me so stop labelling me, just because of the way i portray myself.
You dont know me.

Ive been feeling so detached from everything in life, it started last year during november and now its almost a year and the feelings still there. When can i ever really find my peace again.

A few words for a few special people

To 9159****:
I know you've just been through a rough patch, but hey you have to move on! Dont be sad and angry just because things aren't going your way. You're a great friend and you definitely are a wonderful person, dont let anyone ever get you down. Stay happy, you look better when you're happy.

P.s I'm sorry i couldnt meet you the other day at school i was dead tired after my project evaluation.

To missy:
I know what i've put you through is probably causing you to have some emotional hurricane or tornado and im so damn sorry. This shouldn't be the way things turn out, you deserve someone much better than me. You'll always be a great friend and i'm still gonna lend you a listening ear or entertain you if you're bored =)

To you:
You're probably never going to read this so i have no idea why im writing it here.
I've had some time to think things through.
Its gonna be hard on me to face you, and yet i don't think i can ever find the time or the courage to explain everything to you. Its confusing night after night, i don't know. I don't know whether i should forget about everything and leave it be.
But for now im just gonna hold on and pray cause its been a long time since ive felt this way.

Compared to friendship, gold is dirt. .
- 11:10 AM