Sunday, September 6, 2009
Walk down my path
The first post since pre-thailand. That fateful day.
In one normal day, I made a decision. Regretted it, threw my pride out the window.
Gained nothing back. Nothing.
Lost love.
Refused to wallow in my self-pity.
Looking back I did nothing wrong.
The first few days. Fell to pieces, confused, hurt, sad, empty.
I used to be love drunk, but now i'm hungover
I loved you forever but now its over.
One hell of a goodbye.
Its not easy, to get up and go. But I have to...
Things may have changed, but it only serves as a wake up call.
The reality of the past 6months or so.
Being taken for granted. Hurts.
So I'll get up & go, take a chance & be strong.
Take a breath move on along.
Its really not easy. But it has to be done.
The signs were there, it should have ended in June.
I foolishly chose to hang on. To hang on desperately to a failing hope.
The biggest fool on earth. you or me. Definitely not me.
The time i wasted on you, the bullshit you put me through.
Why? I've been asked. Why choose to be this way.
You're only going to get hurt. And hurt i did feel....
Through all thats happened, I still stand by my belief
If you don't give it your all, you can never expect the same.
Its worth the hurt. I keep telling myself that. =)
To prevent my mind from wandering i keep myself busy.
I need to be alone. For how long. I'm not sure. A day, month, year? who knows.
Decisions to make for my future. I'll prove you wrong. This i swear.
Melbourne or Singapore.
There's not much time left to figure it out.
I'm coming undone piece by piece.
Is two better then one?
I don't know so much about that for now.
But i do know i owe you my friends.
For pulling me out of mire.
Making me smile for another day.
A million thanks would not suffice.
The phone calls, the talks, the walks, for everything.
From today, I start to live again.
Close the chapter & start a new one.
Randall,
Compared to friendship, gold is dirt. .
- 7:04 AM