Im practically in limbo now arent I?

incredible.

I thought i'd never get into something like this but here i am...

Stuck in the middle of no where.

Its just not right.

Knowing that you're in love with someone else.

Maybe its cause i dont feel that special feeling of being "the one"



I just can't make any sense of my thoughts now...

Minds a wreck. shit.

To be this close to you, and not be able to do anything?

Maybe you should try...

I'm not saying im the only one feeling the hurt.

On one hand you've got him,

on the other hand you've got me.

So its sorta like picking one up and putting the other down.



Me...

I dont know what i am now actually...

When im with you its fine.

When im not its a whole different story isn't it?

The feelings i have to store away, the emotions.

It aint easy, trust me.

To live a lie,

a constant dark presence

Eating away at my conscience.



It affects me alot maybe cause when im hiding the feelings,

it really gets me thinking.

What am i into now?

Where's the future in this?

Maybe it doesnt affect you as much as it does me,

cause you never really have to put down that love?

You say its a different kind of love.

But isnt love all the same thing?

A feeling of deep affection for a person?



Its just not right principally, ethically.

Hell its just not right for me to be doing this to someone.



In some sense im becoming my father.

I admire him in so many ways. and yet he has his flaws...

I cant live with this feeling for long...

I just cant.

Not knowing when it would end is worse.



So I'm going to back up. and remove myself emotionally.

I've got no choice....

We can be friends still I'm sure. But i cant be the one on the side any longer...

Learn to trust girl. You have too....



What is meant to be,

would it be a reality?

Lift me from my dreams one day

So i'd hold you in my arms to stay,

If that moment were to come

I'd gladly be the one

To grow old and become

Your lover and then some.....

Compared to friendship, gold is dirt. .
- 6:14 AM