Well this is my first post for this blog...
kinda dumb really to post something online like this, but i just need a place to express how i feel. No one i know will probably ever see this blog but hey. thats the funny way i am. i do the dumbest things at times.
So 16th january.
What can i say, I'd say i really lack a direction in life at the moment. Im feeling really lost, and i dunno where to go. I wish i had someone to turn to to listen to me and not be prejudiced. There are people i can really talk to like Elson, Jeremy, brent, Zhenyang. my buddies i would say. But thats the real me people. i dun really open up. Im not good at expressing myself and if i had a choice i'd choose to be quiet and emo every single day. But that wouldn be fair to the people around me now would it... so i choose to wake up everyday and put on this facade. The bubbly joyous guy you know is really a tormented shattered soul inside. And right now more then ever i feel distraught.

Some things that have happened in my life over the past few months. Ive let Isabel down. yes. I know we tried but at the end of the day i know its me. really. it hurts so much for me to be writing this now. I miss you. you were someone i could talk to also. but i know its over things wil never be, how i wish things could be different.

Im trying to change, for starters its smoking...

Compared to friendship, gold is dirt. .
- 6:18 AM